Heavy Metal Affliction - 1961 Cadillac Hearse

Happy Halloween everyone!

To celebrate All-Souls Day, Heavy Metal Affliction brings you the story of a hearse-lover. Cadillac hearses especially.

A little hearse history, a little Halloween history, and the story behind this 1961 Cadillac Hearse.


If you have a theory about the body parts found in the hearse or have interesting bits of hearse history, please share them in the HMA thread.

I’m also interested to know if you like this format with the photos inline rather that at the end of the story. All feedback appreciated, so long as it’s positive. :slight_smile:



Thumbs up with the photography!!! The pictures look like your style and are well done. The placement in the Hearse Mutton Review was perfect.

Interesting and well written story. Just where do you find these guys, the car owner doesn’t appear to be a regular Forza racer.

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Disappointed. I didn’t get to use the “dying to get in there” joke, you already did. I’ll find a spot for a joke or pun in here somewhere.

The sheep carcass may be the hearse’s last customer. A hearse dedicated to having sheep go to their final pasture.

I found this site about some info regarding hearses. I did find another site, but I think there were one too many, say, strong words, to be appropriate.

Fun little tidbit about coffins, I guess. The inventor doesn’t want it, the buyer doesn’t use it, and the one using it doesn’t know they’re using it.

When all cleaned up, I’m sure that thing will be killer. There, that’s my joke. But seriously though, some of the best restorations I’ve ever seen were on hearses, and I know some places and people use hearses as Halloween decorations, sometimes being better looking than the house or establishment it’s representing. Best of luck to Mr. Shales on the fix.

I found an actual joke with hearses from this site.

“A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, ‘I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?’ The woman replied, ‘Well, that first hearse is for my husband.’ ‘What happened to him?’ The woman replied, ‘My dog attacked and killed him.’ She inquired further, ‘Well, who is in the second hearse?’ The woman answered, ‘My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.’ A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. ‘Can I borrow the dog?’ ‘Get in line!’”

Also looking forward to the DLC Clue thread cough look at my wishlist post on page 46 cough

Thanks for the good read and story.

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The new format kept me interested in reading the whole story. I like the fact that the pictures broke the story up. Thanks.

Hi John, and Happy All Saints Day (Nov. 1st)!

I do like the new format where the photos are interjected with the story instead of at the end. It keeps the reader continuously engaged by making it so that the reader does not have to scroll back and forth to the photos while reading the story. It definitely adds value to your Heavy Metal Affliction article. BTW: Thanks for all your hard work!

As to the sheep ending up in the Caddy… My wife had a theory that he might have come from the cold wet regions of the Highlands (Scotland) and was granted a wish after finding a Celtic wishing stone. “I’d really like to be warm and dry in a place no predator can find me,” he could have said. <Bamf!> Welcome to the ’61 Cadillac Hearse.

I think he sheepishly wanted a ride in the caddy and accidentally locked himself in there… <Booooo!>

Cheers to all, and safe driving!