Turn 10 Car of the Week: 1970 Audi 100LS
By F. Roberts
With the sunny weather and fading rain, we’re seeing more people walk through the Turn 10 offices with bicycle helmets, jerseys and all-too-revealing spandex. It’s pretty understandable since we’re located squarely in the "bicycle capital of the Northwest". As I prep my own bike for another season of hard riding and neglect, I’m reminded of my cycling youth and what was important back in the day – he with the most gears wins.
Keeping up with the neighbor was always an issue. When I had a 12-speed he had an 18-speed. When I had an 18-speed he had a 21. I got a 21, he got a 24. In those seminal years where I couldn't quite keep up with my neighbor, I learned how to embrace life’s challenges. Fast forward more than a decade; I have a Bianchi single speed (not a fixed gear and no I don’t own a messenger bag) and my old neighbor has a lengthy arrest record. The same mentality that has me riding both up and down hills in a single gear defines most things in my life. Sure, it’s more difficult that way… but it’s fun. So why should cars be any different?
Enter the 1970 Audi 100LS. For the few people out there who remember the Audi 100, 90 and 80… and whose minds instantly turn to thoughts of screaming five cylinders and Quattro systems - you’re WRONG. The 1970 100LS was pretty much the first Audi to hit the soil here in the US and had a lineage that, well… didn’t exist. It was Audi’s first all new car after being purchased by VW from Mercedes. It was a clean sheet build for “Audi NSU Auto Union Aktiengesellschaft” (yes that was the actual name) and that sheet sat in front of one man, Ludwig Kraus. Kraus designed the car in secret and Audi’s Chief Manager approved it for production upon sight. Wait? Aren’t we missing a step? Like, a test drive or a QA process? Nah… put ‘er into production.
While it set the standard for the longitudinal FWD Audi drivetrain layout, it carried a couple fundamental design flaws. The most serious problems had to do with the suspended motor mounts and inboard brakes. If an engine mount were to fail in the Audi 100LS -- and every one of them did eventually fail -- the engine quite literally falls out of the car. If an axle fails while stopping -- which happened to be the most common cause of axle failure -- you have no brakes. Don’t even get me started on what happens when the engine mounts fail under braking. Suffice to say the car usually stops… as it’s rolling over the engine.
The truth is, the 100LS was the car that nearly killed Audi in the United States. It was so bad, in fact, that when Audi released the new chassis in 1978, they changed the name to the Audi 5000 to distance themselves from all the bad press. They even stopped production on replacement parts in 1984 to get existing ones off the road. The tactic worked quite well. Today these cars are little more than a memory. While Audi claimed to be producing more than three hundred of these cars a day in 1970, you’ll have a hard time finding one on the road in this country, anywhere, today. Anyone who came into driving age in the mid-late '70s will tell you how the 100LS couldn’t possibly be rare and I’ve even had one very bald gentleman tell me how many he wrecked in high school. Today it’s reported that, across all the 1970 sedans and coupes built for the United States, less than 30 remain running. In the 100LS' rarest design, the two door sedan, the running number is reported as less than half a dozen.
Now, this is the part where the author admits to owning one of these cars. I’m one of the lucky few who gets to drive a 1970 100LS 2dr Sedan. What’s more, mine only recently crested 48,000 original miles. Its low-mile cream puff status hasn’t stopped it from coming home on the business end of a towing apparatus a dozen times in the last 3000 miles. Five failed fuel pumps, three master cylinders, two pinion shaft bearings, one motor mount and countless other parts later I still drive it… on sunny days… when I don’t have to be anywhere. Nevermind that it handles like a waterbed or that you have to double clutch all your shifts like a big rig because of the non-synchronized gears. It’s just fun to be in.
So why would I own such a terrible car? Why do I accept that driving anywhere in it could result in a tow bill… or accident? The answer is simple and very VERY cliché. Life’s a journey, not a destination. I hate that saying, but it applies here. I feel like I share Audi’s journey every time I drive this car. My ritual arrival to work becomes a celebration simply because I made it; regardless of how many people I cut off due to a lack of turn signals or how scared I am every time a stop light turns red in front of me.
Audi, overall, has been through their journey as well. After the 100LS they forged on and, despite television show 60-Minutes' best efforts to kill the brand in 1986, Audi arrived at their destination as one of the world’s premier European car manufacturers. With an astoundingly successful racing program and a growing history of excellent luxury sedans (and now coupes) as well as a handful of sports cars, they’ve done a superb job of putting the 100LS behind them. As for the very few out there who embrace the failure of the very first Stateside Audi (present companty included) – the small handful of 100LSs left running today are probably enough to satisfy us.
F. Roberts is open to admit that while he’ll partake in Audi’s most epic failure he’ll have nothing to do with any of their successes.